by Steven Bartholomew |
July 19, 2022
|
Happy Julyteenth, Everybody (This means nothing by the way)
First, let's get the obvious out of the way, this patch is in no way affiliated with Too tsie Rolls Industries. I picked up a few tactics on tricking those algorithms from Yanne during our last candy bar patch hiatus. (For those of you just joining us, we pulled a similar stunt with our "Fuckers" Patch.) We've thought all this through. See, if you're going to dabble in parody law, might as well do it with a large chocolate corporation. At least they'll probably have free candy bars in the board room while you wait to meet with the legal team.
Speaking of legal teams, so Felicien Kabuga is fucked, huh? The asshole accused of funding the Rwanda Genocide was finally caught and thrown in "The Hague" (This is not breaking news). That name sounds like either a map from Call of Duty or an absolutely terrifying prison in a foreign country. For his sake, I hope it's the latter. He pleaded not guilty for his crimes against humanity, even though he was in hiding for 26 years. Sounds like they must have needed all the time they could get to get everyone's stories straight. But I'll save that for the prosecution team.
Signing off.
-Steven
Posted in
new products,
patches,
Violent Little
by Nate Hoff |
October 30, 2018
|
Skateboards, Polaroid cameras, meatball subs and a broken hand, this story has it all. Let me start from the beginning. Since Munson showed up a few months ago from Florida, the entire gang has been talking about learning to skateboard. Why? Well, why not? We all had Skateboards, some of us were more skilled than others (Emily and I had about as much experience skating as we do hunting whales).
Fast forward a few weeks and there are nine skateboards floating around the office. Yanne and I had previously gotten a little carried away at a silent auction and, well, we bought a few skate decks. Yanne, always with the most fun ideas, said "Hey, lets ride our boards to lunch". It was a beautiful Friday up here in Sun Valley, Idaho, and we like to take advantage of the warm weather while we still can. The target was an easy, slightly uphill destination about two miles away on a smooth bike path. Easy enough.
The first part of our trip was pretty mild. Nobody got hurt, it was slow, and Emily was wearing a ski helmet. We arrived at lunch, talked about weird dreams over beer (or apple juice in Emily's case). I may have exaggerated on the meatball subs, I just really wanted to order two like I was in the movie Point Break.
Heading back to Violent Little HQ from the restaurant is a nice, gentle downhill, with one slightly steeper section at the beginning. I'd recently quadrupled the amount of time I'd spent on a skateboard so I thought "Shit, I got this". I hopped on and quickly discovered what loose trucks and speed wobbles are all about. I ditched it and rolled a few times before coming to rest in some sage brush. My hands suddenly looked like raw hamburger, but other than my ego nothing was too badly damaged.
We got that one crash out of the way, so it was just time to cruise the easy section. We were getting our legs under us, learning to carve, having fun. Cars passing by were looking at us, probably jealous that they don't have as much fun as we do. I was admiring the ski hill in the distance when all of a sudden I discovered a skateboarder's worst enemy...a pebble. This time I wasn't as fortunate and planted all my weight into my hands. If my hands looked like hamburger before, they just looked like unprocessed meat now. I brushed it off, Munson and I posed for Polaroid photos, and everyone driving by laughed at me (I ain't even mad). Once we got back to the shop, I knew I'd fractured my hand. It's not the first time I've done it, so I already knew what was up. I cleaned the wounds with some Dr. Little's Aids Cure, did the sensible thing and spent the next few hours with a cold beer in my hand.
In-between crashes.
Safety is key.
Thanks for reading,
Nate
Posted in
adventure,
fun,
learning,
Violent Little
by Oscar Sanchez |
August 07, 2017
|
Friendtime Friday was something I came up with before I left the Teams. Life gets busy and everyone has shit going on, so it was important to me that we all get together at least once a week and do something as a group. That's how lasting friendships are created, and now I have lots of great stories. Like the one I'm about to share with you.
The other day, Nate, Emily and I decided to attend the Lord Huron concert here in town. Yanne didn't come, as he had a meeting with Paul Allen or something. We made sure he was there in spirit. We drink, we sing, we laugh and drink some more. You’d be pretty surprised about how much vodka Emily can put away.
Some beers and a few flasks later, the drunk hunger starts to set in and that’s when Emily saw someone with pizza. She decided that she NEEDED pizza. Nate and I witnessed her transformation into this pizza craved gremlin. She searched for pizza on the concert grounds and found nothing, so she began to call all the pizza places in town. It’s a small mountain town, so there’s like three options. When one finally said that they would deliver to the concert venue, the order began to be placed and our excitement grew. Here's some of that conversation:
Emily: "Could we please get ranch and marinara sauce on the side?”
Operator: “Okay, sure. Small ranch and marinara on the side.”
Emily: “Like...enough for three people.”
Operator: “Of course.”
Emily: “So like a lot please."
Emily is the only one here that really eats her pizza with ranch, so you can imagine her excitement when they showed up with three half pint containers each of ranch and marinara. As a matter of fact, she was so excited when they called upon their arrival to the venue, she ran barefoot to get the pizza. Check out the photo below of her holding the pizza and see the joy on her hungry little face.
All in all, it was an amazing time hanging out with those two. We each have different personalities (as you see in the photo) and bring different energy into the shop and I hope you enjoy the shit we do as much as we enjoy doing it. We are all grateful and happy that life has led us here, to the creation of this Violent Little Family.
Stick around...you won’t believe what’s coming next. Or you will, because we're full of empty promises.
Unicorns and M4s,
Oscar
Cheers to us!
Look how happy she is to have the pizza and all that ranch.
The aftermath.
Posted in
adventure,
Productivity,
Violent Little
