New Patch: 'Hutus & Tutsis Roll"
Happy Julyteenth, Everybody (This means nothing by the way)
First, let's get the obvious out of the way, this patch is in no way affiliated with Too tsie Rolls Industries. I picked up a few tactics on tricking those algorithms from Yanne during our last candy bar patch hiatus. (For those of you just joining us, we pulled a similar stunt with our "Fuckers" Patch.) We've thought all this through. See, if you're going to dabble in parody law, might as well do it with a large chocolate corporation. At least they'll probably have free candy bars in the board room while you wait to meet with the legal team.
Speaking of legal teams, so Felicien Kabuga is fucked, huh? The asshole accused of funding the Rwanda Genocide was finally caught and thrown in "The Hague" (This is not breaking news). That name sounds like either a map from Call of Duty or an absolutely terrifying prison in a foreign country. For his sake, I hope it's the latter. He pleaded not guilty for his crimes against humanity, even though he was in hiding for 26 years. Sounds like they must have needed all the time they could get to get everyone's stories straight. But I'll save that for the prosecution team.
Signing off.
-Steven