Little Box of Violence: April Review

by Yanne Root | April 21, 2016 | 1 Comment

It's almost summer and we're starting to feel the heat over here at Violent Little...just a bunch of sweaty old sailors doing what we do. Don't panic just yet, we're still in the game. We're offering April signups until April 30th...so get hungry you unruly bastards and feast on this months bountiful harvest.  We have trucker hats, irrational alcoholic Creasy Bear stickers, Liberal Tears that smell like bacon, and an exotic, exclusive drop from S&S Precision...they don't call it The Little Box of Bullshit for no reason. Why you no subscribe? May boxes will be shipping around the 10th of May. Sign up now...May box is filled with some other fantastic suppliers.

Stormtrooper Pocket Shiv by S&S Precision:

If you don’t know S&S Precision by now, its pretty safe to say you probably were never too deep into “the game”. What game is that...shooting people in the face? Nope, we’re talking about Craps...rollin them dice. S&S Precision helped Violent Little out in its infancy...before we were even Violent Little. No idea how/why/when S&S took a liking to us, but now we get to do all sorts of cool shit with them, including this EXCLUSIVE Stormtrooper Edition Pocket Shiv and make-believe surf trips. Click here for the .com action or follow on the Instagram @ssprecision.

Package Stealers Patch by Velocity Patches:

Oh my fuck, what is the deal with the USPS? As soon as we saw this patch we knew the Violent Little “little boxers” (that’s what we call the subscribers) had to have it. Velocity Patches successfully were able to stay out of our tentacles for a little while, but those days are over...and now its like full on tentacle porn. Consider this their “coming out” party. They make custom patches too. Click here to check out their website or follow on Instagram @velocitypatches.

 

You Look Adopted Patch by Hoofarded From The Sky:

This company has been a joy to work with. Fun Fact: The proprietor of Hoofarded is a world-ranked pinball player...how fucked up is that? We got together with him over bloody marys at Shot Show 2016. He was nice enough to give us a sneak peek of the art...and we signed-on that very instant to put it in the April box. Gumption. Here you go. To get down and dirty with their site click here, or follow on the Instagram @hoofarded.

 First Order GITD Patch by Tactical Outfitters:

The bearded frenemy explorers over at Tactical Outfitters gave us the EXCLUSIVE on this glow-in-the-dark variant of their First Order Star Wars patch. Gee Wally, that sure was swell of them. Subscribers of this box get it first...then we’re selling the scraps on our site. What’s the big idea? Follow on Instagram @tacticaloutfitters, or click here to get tactical.

Violent Little Honeydew Trucker:

Simply Violent Little, with an accent spot of “Honeydew” to compliment those eyes of yours. Golden, delicious, quality, 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus hat, don't even know a word yet...check out our Instagram @violentlittle for all sorts of weird shit. Or just stay on this site and buy some shit...doesn't matter.

Just Fuck Off Coasters by Violent Little:

If you’ve got furniture nice enough to merit coasters, maybe these will come in handy, in addition to insulting your guests -that is, if you’ve got any guests. If not, feel free to use these at your next man tea party (not to be confused with a manatee party) with Mr. Bear and Pollyanna. Or just use as frisbees/safe ninja stars. Fuck off, Rick.

Liberal Tears Gun Lube by Tactical Shit:

Here’s a bacon-scented sample of some new shit out of Tactical Shit. Can probably be used as cologne or perfume...unisex style...although maybe not very healthy for you. Actually, just run it in your weapon. Shop Tactical Shit by clicking here, don't forget to give them a follow on Instagram @tacticalshit.

Mini-Sriracha2Go by Sriracha:

Following up on last month’s inclusion of their new Sriracha packets, we were able to get the fine folks at Sriracha to give us bulk pricing on these little portable beauties. Not only is their sauce the bauce, but this company didn’t bat an eye when we told them who we were with. Most of the time we have to “trick” companies into selling us stuff...especially if they’re from California. Thanks for being cool! See what else is up for grabs on their site by clicking here, they even have an Instagram @sriracha2go.

 

“Lines of Wasabi” by The Worst Chocolate Co.

Crunchy, sweet, savory...this wasabi flavored chocolate bar was crafted right here in Idaho by expert chocolatiers. Look for The Worst Chocolate Co. to make their commercial debut shortly...they’re just the worst. Sidebar...we’re probably involved in this, who knows. Click here to kill two birds with one stone, or voice your outrage on Instagram @worstchocolateco.

The Big Creasy Sticker by us, the Violent Little Degenerates:

Like we said...riding the Creasy coattails until its time to get off. Milking it for everything she’s got. This month’s Creasy is making his debut in 6” size...a good enough size to satisfy most. See what we did there...same old file, but a brand new size. Its called “lazy product development”. And because its bigger, we can charge more...a lot more!

 

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